Laguna College of Art + Design

Am I the only one in the throes of imposter syndrome in a room brimming with faith and heavenly adoration? I went to mega churches with my family when I was younger and witnessed the live performative baptisms, aerial Christmas eve dancers’ extravaganzas, and dedicated Christian rock bands. Yet I felt like an outsider. I felt inadequate in my faith because I wasn’t moved to raise my hands during worship. My arms were halted by a subconscious distrust in the words of every hymn. If God was watching over me, why wouldn’t he intervene when things got bad at home? My paintings are a series of reactions to my life and faith in and outside of my parents’ home. They are allegorical paintings that examine the family system I was cast into and my struggles to ascertain my identity outside of my family. My painting style is influenced by classical narrative painting and impressionism, with a healthy serving of technical influence from plein air painting to depict my sunny outdoor settings. By painting outdoor scenes that reflect family struggles and internal religious struggles, I bring my trauma into the sunlight, transform my memories of my childhood, and forge my identity as an independent adult.